silent confessions

some things I couldn't tell you:

I still have dreams about you sometimes even though I told myself I got over you last summer.

I looked through all 158 picture of you and your girlfriend even though I haven't talked to you in a year and a half.

I knew this would happen when you gushed to me about her after that first night you spent together. Don't you get it? The beauty of your writing coincides with your anger, your despair, and your desire for something better. I haven't heard you complain in months. I haven't heard you at all. You've stopped writing all-together.


things I don't even want to hear:

you gave college too much credit. you still don't know what you're going to do with your life, and guess what... you still don't have a boyfriend. (and you're not even sure you want one anymore.) If you were a boy, you wouldn't want to date you either.

home hasn't been the same since high school. you don't recognize half the people at church. no one even knows who you are when you come home. people can't hid their dissaproval at choosing to be an English major. You see through that subtle head shake and know they're thinking but you had so much potential.

your father resembles your grandfather more every day.

you're putting up a front... only which one is it? is this all a bunch of "creative writing" or is it the truth?


___________________________________________
I'm frightened of what these words might bring,
but it's important for me to remember these things.