dentists, doctors, and monsters

OK, so the phone rings at 8:15 this morning... oh by the way, the phone is conveniently located right behind my bed. Luckily, my mom is still home, so she picks up the phone as I roll over carefully as to preserve the sleep-status. See, once I open my eyes and look around I typically have a hard time falling back to sleep. Anyway, just as I start to forgive the crazy person for calling so early, my mom yells up the stairs saying the phone is for me. As you can imagine, a bunch of things are running through my head at this point. (a. who the heck calls this early? b. no one ever calls me anyway... who the heck wants to talk to me at 8:15 in the morning? c. I automatically dislike this person.) Anyway, so I pick up the phone, and it's one of the receptionists at the dentist's office b/c my dad told them yesterday that if they could fit me in at all to call.

OK, so I get up ridiculously early on one of my last days to sleep late for months, throw on some clothes, and make a quick banana smoothie. Of course when I get there, I look around for some reading material. You know... perhaps a catalog or something. Nope, all I see are hunting magazines and the Holy Bible. Hmmm... interesting combination. Please don't think that I'm knocking the Bible b/c I'm not. It would just be sort of weird to read the Bible in a waiting room. So I sit there for 15 minutes just staring at the Magnolia inspired decor. (Of course this guy comes in and of all places to sit, he sits directly across from me, so we both attempt to divert our eyes so as not to stare at each other.)

So they call me in, and I take a seat in the chair that I have come to despise and fear. I've never had any cavaties and still don't, but had some crappy experiences with dentists and orthodontists in the past. (Ex #1: had braces from 5th grade to 12th grade---7 1/2 years, Ex #2: I've had 16 teeth pulled Ex #3: I accidentally bit one of the receptionists once... I don't know how it happened, it wasn't intentional... it just happened). Anyway, the woman proceeds to cram that slide thing in my mouth for the x-rays (the whole x-ray thing creeps me out in the first place. I mean, if you're not supposed to get x-rays taken when you're pregnant, they must do something bad, right?) After trying three times, she states that the computer has been acting up, and the attempts have been in vain. She then proceeds to pick at my teeth with shiny, sharp objects for what seems like hours, tells me I need to floss or I'll "lose my pretty teeth," and attempts to carry on a conversation with me while her hands are prying open my mouth. (I don't understand this... how the heck am I supposed to respond?)

Yeah, so I really don't like dentists, doctors, or monsters. In fact, I think I'd rather encounter a monster than a dentist any day of the week. (depending on the dentist I suppose.)