I don't know how I'm supposed to sleep tonight

I leave Denmark tomorrow... actually in 12 hours I will be on a plane. This has both been the shortest four monts and the longest four months of my life. So much has happened... but in so little time. It's unbelievable how many things I have had a chance to experience. Having never traveled out of the Eastern United States much, I have now been to 9 countries. More than that though, I have lived in a foreign country and in a (relatively) big city for the first time in my life... and I feel like I was really on my own for the first time... or at least more so than I have ever been before.

In many ways, it feels like going back to the States and back to my old life will be a major regression or devolution for me, so I will really need to try to make it a growing experience and a time to figure out how to incorporate the things I learned into my old life in order to make it new and transformed.

and who knows... perhaps I will find my way back here. It's hard for me to believe that I won't. Though sometimes I wonder if it wasn't Denmark per se that I fell in love with but just a new way of life, a fresh start.

I just don't want to go to sleep because I know if I do, I will have to wake up and leave.

More to come.

footnotes and subtitles

I would like to figure out a way to incorporate footnotes into everyday life. Footnotes are a great thing. They allow you to include all those clever little details you would normally reserve for parenthetical phrases. I think Blogger should look into adding a footnote feature as it would improve blogging drastically. Parenthetical statements are great, but they can really interupt the flow of your sentences at times. And of course, there are always those times when you mention something random in your blog that the average reader might not get, and it would just be nice to clarify these odditites through footnotes. (At this point, I would be tempted to add a footnote either about footnotes or about the a cappella group called footnotes that I just found in a google search... oh well, I guess links will have to suffice.)

In addition to this, I would like to take this opportunity to say that I think magically floating subtitles for people would also be quite helpful. Curious about what that Danish guy is saying? Just read the subtitles conveniently scanning across his forehead! I'm telling you... it would work wonders for things like international meetings and conferences. It would also make for a handy aide for eavesdroppers. Of course, they'd have to come up with a new name for it. Something that involved the Latin root for reading perhaps... or is there a Latin word for 'subtitles'? Somehow I doubt it.

Ode to the Superfluous Man

(This one's for Jon)

Oh, though a superfluous man you may be
you escape Kierkegaard’s concept of immediacy.
Above the trivial and the mundane,
you contemplate life in the depth of your brain.
They may call you “ineffective,” they may call you a waste
but you, you are onto something, post haste.

Perhaps they only point fingers at you
because they are afraid of what you will do.
You’ll quickly turn their world upside down,
making them contemplate their wasted life with a frown.
The characters in Uncle Vanya, they know
just how it feels to go with the flow.
They wake up one day and feel a sense of loss
Who’s to say they are not the ‘superfluous?’


If you are confused by my departure from the typical prosaic form that I am accustomed to writing in, this is just a little something I wrote for my Russian literature class.

The concept of the Superfluous Man according to Wikipedia in case you are unfamiliar with this term

Christmas, consumerism, and capitalism

While hanging out on an abandoned Rådhusplasen last night, Amelia took this picture that interestingly juxtaposes Christmas and consumerism:


In the foreground on the left, we have the huge and towering Christmas tree, and in the background on the right, we have a building that is lit up with many advertisements. I tell you this story not to complain about consumerism and Christmas (which would be far too easy to do... and I might have even done it last year or the year before anyway), but to tell you this nice little anecdote about Denmark and the Danish way:

Approximately one second after Amelia captured this moment on film, every single one of those neon lights went out simultaneously and stayed out for the twenty minutes Amelia and I awaited the arrival of our night busses. It was as if Denmark had heard our complaint and criticism and meekly replied: Oh, no. Sorry, sorry. You have the wrong idea. We're not like that here. See?

It was cute really... and quite strange. I'm glad the city is so receptive and thoughtful like that.

Perhaps not the sign we had been hoping for

Today in our Russian lit class, our teacher comes bounding in the door (with a piece of paper in his hand)and starts celebrating. Apparently, there was a sign on the door (that I had somehow missed) that said:

Holocaust and Genocide cancelled
December 3rd

It was both comical and eerie in a way. Oh, semantics.
(Of course, they were referring to the Holocaust and Genocide class that I am enrolled in.)

Shenanigans... at the Library

I love The Copenhagen Post because they have stories like this:

Books Taken Hostage at Doomed Library
A group of concerned citizens calling themselves the Library Gang
kept librarians in the village of Dybbøl, Jutland, busy on Monday:
The gang, armed with wheelbarrows, trolleys, trailers, sacks,
and whatever else could be used to haul away the contents of
the library, attempted to check out every single one of the library's
books.
The great book haul comes after a proposal by the Sønderborg
local council to close the library.
'They want to close it down, but they can't do that if the books
aren't there,' said ringleader Jakob Damsbo.
Only the library's dedicated staff of stern librarians prevented
the gang from exceeding their lending limit, thus preventing the
entire library from being emptied.
...

There is pretty much always a random story like this that I get a kick out of. I guess perhaps that's the benefit of having a paper that comes out only once a week--things don't have to be as pressing and can be kind of ridiculous at times... not that the intentions of this story were ridiculous. I'm actually wondering why those 'stern librarians' actually fought back. Shouldn't they have encouraged the 'Library Gang' to continue checking out the books so that the branch would stay open and people would keep learning? I'd say those are some irresponsible librarians.

Today we went to Sweden

Sweden is only a thirty-five minute train ride away from Copenhagen. I am not sure why I have not taken advantage of this really. When else will I be able to just hop over to Sweden? I didn't take many pictures, but here are a few:
<-----
Random
street in
Malmö,
Sweden.
ok, so
the sky
is grey,
but it's
still
cheery,
right?







---->
the view
from a
little
bridge
we saw.
All the
green
areas in
the city
were nice.









Honestly, I don't understand why more people don't make a point to visit Scandinavia. It really is a nice place. Sure it gets dark at like 4:00 PM now and it can be pretty cold, but that just encourages the people to create their own warmth and light. This technique includes lighting many candles and having a nice fire going.

Really though, I was impressed at the altruism we witnessed today. A man dropped some documents out of his pocket, and one of his fellow comrades picked up the papers and chased him down... instead of merely looking at the papers and walking away. We tried to join in on this feeling by helping a woman carry her baby stroller up some stairs. Really though, all day there was just sort of this pleasant feeling in the air.

My favorite moment of the day:


<---------------------------
Amelia and I passed these two
women walking side by side,
wearing matching coats about
five minutes after we bought
our own matching coats (50% off!),
so we turned around and ran them
down to take this picture.
This is us in 55 years.

during my three weeks of traveling...

I didn't get around to listening to much music... at all really. I wanted to have all my senses available to take in information on my surroundings, you know? Then today at the airport, I remembered how much I love it, and actually listened to my i-pod on shuffle and was pleasantly surprised at many of the songs I had forgotten about. It was also one of those moments where I started hearing music everywhere... ie in the rhythm of the escalator. Seriously. it was a sick beat.

I managed to spend everything save 11 cents. This was both miraculous and horrifying.

I witnessed a car accident, a dog fight, and an entire glass store front shatter.

Some random guy quacked in my ear as he passed me. seriously. it freaked me out... and was a bit delightful/entertaining.

I ordered a "latte" in Italy and was presented a tall glass of milk.

I found myself in Amsterdam on Halloween and was reverse-trick-or-treated by a little girl dressed as a princess. I guess they haven't gotten the whole halloween thing exactly worked out yet. The girl did not seem to like the holiday... understandably so as her supply of candy got smaller and smaller.

I tried falafel in many different countries... perhaps five.

I wrote and submitted a concert review to the student paper. Check it out here:
http://ogb.wfu.edu/07/index.php?/ee/l_article/iron_wine_pick_up_the_pace/
Please note they changed the title of the article once again... and I am still unsure if there is a subject + verb agreement error or not. If so, I am extremely embarrassed. If not, I am embarrassed that I thought there might be one.

I watched the sun set over a vineyard in Tuscany.

I bought many postcards... none of which I intend to send.

I was in three countries in one day. (thrice as many as I had been to in 21 years prior to August).

I saw a tour in Florence in which both the two tour guides and all the followers were on Segways. see below picture.

so I started a new blog

Hi, all. You may have noticed that I am not posting as much as I should be considering I am in a new country and in the midst of having many new and exciting things happening to me. Yes, this is a legit claim. Sorry about that. I need to work on it. However, I just thought I'd write a little post now to tell you that I have started a new blog that I have dedicated purely to the subject of dreams... so check that out if you feel so inclined. It can be pretty interesting stuff... if not downright frightening, ridiculous, and a bit philosophical at times. So yeah... you can find that here. The new blog also explains why I probably will no longer post my crazy dreams here. If you ever want to contribute a dream to it, send it to me, and I will post it with your name attached. I think it would be cool if the site represented many POV's and dreamers.

another example of those sneaky internet ads

My favorite part of reading Russian literature online is noticing the accompanying ads on the page. Examples include:
Meet Russian Lady
Find a russian Lady Find the love of your life
happymeeting.dk (notice it's a Danish website)

Meet Russian Singles
Russian singles seek love and relationship worldwide. Join free.
www.RussianEuro.com

I could even find a Russian stockbroker if I wanted to... or you know... meet a 'russian Lady'

The day we talked about death in philosophy class

my grandfather died. and I can't go home to see my family because I am in Denmark. on top of that, I am scheduled to go to Bornholm this weekend for a vacation-like time of biking... while my grandfather is being burried. my dad is now an orphan, and I'm going on vacation.

am I crazy?

Yes, so I've been here in Copenhagen or København for about 3 weeks now, and I've again started considering another totally different career track. I really don't think people should have to pick this early. I'm so indecisive and prone to huge fits of inspiration so often... it's hard to know what will stay with me and what will fade away. The latest one is grad school... which I never thought I'd even really ever consider doing. The thing is though... so many programs pay for you to go if you get in--that's something I didn't really realize before. It'd also be another chance to do the whole college search thing again, and now that I know what I want in a school, I think I'd enjoy it much more. I'd get the chance to start all over. So you're probably thinking grad school isn't so crazy, right? I mean I am an English major... but the thing is, it is not grad school for English that has struck me. It's grad school for Philosophy. a stinking PHD in philosophy! I don't know... I feel like I could do that and maybe teach at a college. It would be amazing to be a college professor I think. I could teach just a basic intro course and then I could teach something on maybe philosophy and religion and all the problems that involves... or perhaps some specific topic will strike me down the line. I honestly have loved my philosophy class at DIS so far, and Søren Kierkegaard has definitely been an interesting read so far. I know this sounds horribly vain, but sometimes when I read SK, I feel like he is expressing some of the very thoughts and problems I have been thinking about. Of course, he says them in more convoluted and academic terms, but many of the ideas are similar. When I have more time, I will have to give you some examples of this. I've written many of them down in my notes. I have to go out and buy a journal! Somehow, I already lost the one I brought with me when I had only written a few pages.

ugh but what about the magazine/npr internships? I think I might try to apply for everything--grad school and internships and see what happens from there. I could always request a deferral. Honestly though... I don't think I'll be done with Copenhagen in December. I feel like there's more for me here than can be contained in just a few months. Now I just need to find an excuse to stay. I wish I had more time as an undergraduate! One more semester isn't going to cut it.

Maybe it's just my age or mabye I'm just being melodramatic, but

I feel like lately it's as if about once a week, I get these sudden strong impulses/breakthroughs to do something that might radically alter the direction of my life. About 3 weeks ago it was NPR. Yeah, it sounds completely lame. I mean I used to make fun of my parents or roll my eyes at their tradition to listen only to NPR. (it's pretty much the only thing they listen to in the car, and it's ALWAYS on 24 hours a day in our kitchen where an old-fashioned radio is perched on our refridgerator/freezer combo unit). So maybe it somehow became endearing because of that or maybe it's just one of those appreciations that creeps up on you as you enter adulthood.

Really though, NPR has many interesting programs. Did you know that there are 80 free podcasts available through i-tunes? I especially like: Fresh Air, Pop Culture, Movies, This American Life, and All Songs Considered. I mean have you taken a look at All Songs Considered? They actually have quite an impressive list of musical guests (think The National, Okkervil River, Spoon, PB&J, Iron & Wine... to name a few.)

Yes, so I have added NRP to the list of internships to apply for. They actually have quite a few. I also decided that some sort of a media-based job seems appealing. (radio, newspaper, magazine... I think I'll shy away from the tv and all its corruptions).

This is not why I am writing, however.

The latest craze that has been simmering lately and only today really demanded my full attention is writing about current events and actually becoming an active force in this widely ambivalent and indifferent youth culture. Of course this is not to say that I profess to actually have any idea of what is going on in the world. I'm actually probably more ignorant than most, but I really think that if our generation became active, we could make people start to pay attention to some important issues that have been too long overlooked. Ignorance by definition is a state of lacking knowledge, but if this state is freely adapted and chosen (ie by chosing to turn the radio dial when issues of politics, genocide, and environmental issues announce themselves), can it really still be considered ignorance? This is the problem of today: A self-imposed and freely-elected 'ignorance' that is really indifference in disguise.

So what is it that I am proposing to do? Well for starters, I'd like to actually find out about these issues so that I may approach them from an educated viewpoint... perhaps this will take the form of writing articles in order to get the word out... who knows. Today I have decided that I should take a poli sci class. Seems like a small thing, but I think it will be a good start. Hopefully it's not too late to switch into a class (through DIS) called: European Conflict and Security Issues.

The course description:
A study of issues and problems in European security. The search for a stable European security order. The transatlantic relationship. The emergence of new threats like terrorism, proliferation of weapons of mass destruction, ethnic conflict, and failing states. The attempt to define an active role for the European Union in international security.

My dad told me three years ago that I would make a good poli sci major. Too bad I called him crazy.

Yesterday I saw a bumper sticker that read:





















I wonder if they have succeeded yet.

so jumpy

Every night at approximately 9:45 PM, Peter Romanov gets on the loudspeaker and announces that the library will be closing in 15 minutes. Every night, this sudden break in the silence makes me jump... quite literally. It happens even though I know the announement is impending. I can be looking at the clock, which reads 9:45PM and brace myself, silently telling myself over and over that it is about to happen, and I still get freaked out.

I really just love storms

we finally had a nice storm tonight in Winston.
I miss those summer storms at the beach so much.
Remember that time it rained so hard that we couldn't tell where the ocean started?
The kids were all screaming--it was raining that hard, but it was glorious.
where beauty overlaps and is intertwined with chaos... I think that's where I want to be.

have you danced in the rain? I mean really just cut loose?

how do they know?

So the webpage I was just looking at had little advertisements imbedded in the page. Normal, right? Yeah... but I actually took the time to read those ads today, and they were creepily catered to me. Ok, maybe not the one about getting a credit card, but the one advertising the "Magic Dance" ringtone?! Man! How do those little spies know I am a closet Labyrinth fan? That is just sick. I mean how many people would even know that "Magic Dance" is a David Bowie song in Labyrinth?

home.

So I went home for a few days this week. Here are some highlights:
-I got a new driver's liscense because my old one was scheduled to expire in June. Apparently, my liscense is now good until I turn 31. That is so crazy. I can't even imagine being 31. So much will change before then. The annoying thing is since I got it before my birthday, I'll be 30, and my lisence will still say "under 21."

-I ran into one of the guys who asked me to prom junior year. I hadn't seen him in four years. As you can imagine, we did not bring up the prom thing. It was actually a good interaction though. He really was one of my favorite people in High School... one of the only ones worth talking to. He works at Fazoli's now.

I feel like my father must have paid my grandfather to periodically ask me if I had found a job yet. I was home for about 48 hours, and her seriously asked me 4 times if I had found a job. Dimentia? I don't think so.

To respond to that question, I do now have a job... at good old ZSR. Yeah, I'll be working at the reference desk and in "special collections" which kind of makes me think of "secret service." So things are starting to fall into place. I now at least have the first half of the summer mapped out... now what to do with July/August?

the remnants of a year

Cleaning out my room, I find:
Lists of things to do yet left undone,
receipts from meals,
expired, unused coupons,
movie ticket stubs,
exactly 8 fortunes (even though I don't like Chinese food),
that cd I forgot to give back to you,
someone's lost lanyard that I never turned in,
a red and yellow striped paper clip,
an unfinished scarf,
a couple of letters,
a spider's web in the bathroom,
a pile of books left unread, and
those earplugs I couldn't find the night there were still people here at 4AM.

Beware:

After 1:45 PM on Friday

Yeah, it's short
yeah, I cried a little,
but it's growing on me.
(pun not originally intended, but I didn't change it.)


because it was time for a change


if it takes 7 donations on average to make a wig,
I have 5 more to go.

man, you can see the nervousness in my eyes.
















and... two days later.

I no longer think like I look like a long-lost
Hanson brother, so that's good.

Before 1:30PM on Friday

Brace, yourself.

In Search of Lost Time

Well I managed to avoid losing an hour of sleep for a week since I was in Louisana for Spring Break (which is in a different time zone), but time finally caught up with me and surpassed me last night. I can't believe that school starts tomorrow. Even though Spring Break seemed to fly by in some respect, I feel as if I haven't attended classes in a decade. I don't know... I like school for the most part, but I just don't want to get back into that rushing mentality that seems to accompany it.

dream entry #5

So I was working at a new place for the first time except that this wasn't your conventional store at all. The one store was sort of a miniature mall with a walkway in the middle that separated various sections of the store. There was an icecream shop, a coffee shop (of course), an art studio, a haircutting place, and an area that sold vacuum cleaners. For a while, I sort of hung out behind the counter at the coffee/icecream shop, but I wasn't really doing anything because no one had given me training of any kind or even instructions. So after a while, I started walking around aimlessly, pretending to be busy. After about twenty minutes of this (yes, I checked my watch in my dream), this guy working there asked me why I was just walking around and not really doing anything. I explained to him that I didn't know what the heck I was supposed to be doing, and he said, "Come follow me, and I will show you what to do." So I followed him out the back door of the store complex and found myself in this wonderful, mysterious wooded area/meadow. Immediately upon exiting the building, the guy starting darting so quickly among the trees and brush that I was afraid I'd lose him, but somehow I stayed on the trail. Suddenly, he dove into a pool of water in the middle of the forest, and still, I followed him as he swam deep beneath the surface. I wish I could have seen where he was going, but then I woke up violently without even my alarm clock going off, somehow thinking I'd overslept. I bolted out of bed only to see that it was only 7:59 AM. I guess now I'll never know what he was going to show me.

saving the world one cup of coffee at a time

so I went out to get coffee with one of my professors this afternoon, and we talked for a while about the speaker we had just seen and the applications the material had for our lives. Shouldn't that be what school is? Just a dialogue between teacher and student without having to worry about grades, grad schools, etc. where each feels free to challenge the other and there are no desks or podiums to hide behind.

So today I signed up for my classes for next semester...

and here's what I've got as of right now:

1. Cross Cultural Psychology
2. The Making of the Modern Self (a philosophy class)
3. Russian Lit--The Great Works in Translation
4. Muslims in Western Europe (for my Religion requirement)
5. Elementary Danish

I was really upset because the Hans Christian Anderson class I wanted to take was not listed!! I have emailed the program to inquire about this because that was one of the classes I was most looking forward to. I am really excited about the Making of the Modern Self Class. Hopefully the psych class won't be too bad. (I sort of need it to graduate, anyway, and it would be kind of lame taking "Cross-cultural" psych in America. Plus the Developmental Disorders class I was interested in is at 8:30 AM... and it's likely that I'll have to commute 45 minutes to get to school, so that's just not going to happen.) Also--the Gender, Body, and Sexuality class unfortunately was at the same time as the Making of the Modern Self class, so that sucked. I also want to look into the Food, Film, and Fiction class... that sounds delightful.

So I'm really excited to go to Denmark, but it kind of sucks that I didn't go last semester when I was in my funk. (Yeah, just take a look at my blog entries from last semester, and you'll see what I mean. I don't know if I was depressed per se, but something was "off" to say the least.) Now housing next year is so much more complicated.

but I don't even like raisins...

There was a raisin on my shoe when I took it off just now.
I do not know how it got there.
I don't even remember encountering any raisins today.

I needs me some culture

The other day, I realized that I have not been out of North or South Carolina in 7 years... and that was for a funeral, so that doesn't really count. Outside of my trip to California at age 3, I have not even been further West than about Asheville, NC. Sad.

Man, I can't wait to go to Denmark this fall.

V-day Especial

Hello everyone. So when I was procrastinating last night, I compiled the single best line for Valentine's day from each of the songs I played on my radio show... and it goes something like this:

"would you go along with someone like me?"
"I think I'm in love, but it makes me kinda nervous to say so"
"If you find yourself caught in love, say a prayer to the man above"
"fruit always tastes much sweeter when I'm with you"
"whenever I'm alone with you, you make me feel like I am home again"
"all I do is sleep all day and think of you"
"I'm a high school lover, and you're my favorite flavor"
"Oh my lover for the first time in my life, my eyes can see"
"love is a tired symphony you hum when you're awake"
"you left a lovestain on my heart"
"If music is my lover, you are just a tease"
"hey, lloyd, I'm ready to be heartbroken"
"touch me, baby, tainted love"
"I need a lover with soul power"

all this dust

So I was wondering how it is that everything gets so dusty. Where the heck does it come from anyway? As I was pondering this mystery of life, I drew a squiggly design across the black background of my computer screen. Mere seconds after I did this, I actually watched a piece of dust get sucked onto my computer screen.

I feel like this should be a metaphor for something. All this dust. I mean there's dust on all of my things--my speakers, my picture frames, my dresser, my phone, my computer, etc. Dust is a part of our lives, and the thing is... we really can't stop it from coming. All we can really do is move it around. Displace it. Pull out the Swiffer, perhaps. But it will come back. It always does.

laundry day.

Some weeks after doing laundry, I realize that I
only wore one color scheme all week.

What if...

we only responded to questions with magic 8 ball answers like:
"Better not tell you now"
"Without a doubt"
"Signs point to yes"
"As I see it, yes"
"Outlook not so good"

and my favorite:
"Concentrate and ask again"

on the way home tonight

I noticed that they replaced the old marque on scales "fine art" center. (darn it, I just spent like 10 minutes trying to find the right spelling for that word, but I'm still unsure... you know--those giant signs where you have to stick the letters on one by one). Instead of the good old fashioned magnetic letters (always amusing when letters are missing or backwards), they now have this electronic one with red words that scroll across the screen, and I don't like it. I feel like something is lost with all this technology. So yeah, I was walking by that tonight on the way home from my radio show, when I realized that it displays the time... down to the second! As you walk by, you can literally see the seconds ticking away up there in bright red letters, and the funny thing is, I found myself actually walking faster as I stared at this exhibition of passing time. It was as if I could see my life flying by.

strange and unsettling happenings

last night someone broke into three cars in our parking lot, and today our fire alarm went off for the first time in two years. What the heck? Hopefully theives will see my car and assume that there's nothing valuable in it, and if they do break in, well screw them because my interior lights don't even work, so they will not be able to see anything. so ha! I've been thinking about whether or not I have any valuables in my car, and I can only think of the cd player we had installed.

Other than that, I have these things in my car:
-5 packs of fruit snacks (stolen from home as I walked out the door),
-a large package of napkins (just in case of a spill or a runny nose... who knows how they go there in the first place),
-old directions to venues and the like,
-a bag of cracker jacks left over from the summer (just in case I find myself trapped in my car and am on the verge of starvation),
-and about 6 happy meal toys in the in the back seat leftover from my fast food-eating days.

So unless that ninja turtle on a motorcycle is worth money, I don't think it'd be worth it to break into my car. (apart from said cd player/radio).

On a more positive note, they had something called a crunchy peanut butter bannana bagel at Panera today. I got two, and now I am thrilled about breakfast tomorrow.

I think I'll start assigning numbers to my dream entries... we'll say this is number 4. (4 iskind of arbitrary though.)

Last night I dreamed that everyone walked backwards.


I wonder what that symbolizes. Do I wish I could go back in time? Am I frustrated that life is moving too fast?

http://www.pifmagazine.com/SID/413/

"As soon as I knew that I would be all right, I was sure that I was dead and didn't know it. I moved through the days like a severed head that finishes a sentence. I waited for the moment that would snap me out of my seeming life."

-Amy Hempel

more confessions

sometimes I put my music on shuffle, and I'm pleasantly surprised
sometimes at night I like to just ride my bike around campus once
sometimes I picture what my life would be like with you
sometimes I wish things would just be simple again
sometimes awful things come out of my mouth
sometimes I worry about the state of my soul
sometimes I think about eating chicken
sometimes I am the biggest hypocrite
sometimes I still misspell "definitely"
sometimes I take chances
sometimes I miss you
sometimes I'm lonely
sometimes I look back with regret
sometimes I wake myself up laughing
sometimes I don't know what's true anymore
sometimes I am glad you can't read my mind
sometimes I wish everything were in black in white
sometimes I fancy myself the author of a brilliant novel
sometimes I wish I were still a kid so I could roll down a hill again
sometimes I can be content just sitting in bed and staring blankly into space

so this is the new year...

and I DO feel a bit different, thank you Ben Gibbard.

OK so maybe I don't feel different (differently?), but I'm going to try to adjust my attitude to be a more positive person. I guess nobody likes Debbie Downer even though I get a strange kick out of being pessimistic. It's almost as if it's ok to be pessimistic if you're joking around, but it's not ok if you're serious about it. I really do have some good feelings about this year though. I mean people are getting back from being abroad, I'm going abroad next fall (woo hoo!), I've developed a pretty comfortable routine, etc.

We had to take the Myers Briggs Personality test for RA purposes, and I was an INFJ again... though not strong on the last letter. I seem to flip flop between J and P. I always get a kick out of reading the descriptions though.

"idealistic, complex, and deep"
"deeply committed to their values"
"private, even mysterous"
"quietly forceful"
"Though INFJ's are usually reserved, they don't hesitate to assert themselves when their values are violated"
"The are lyoal to people and institutions that exemplify their values but have little interest in those that do not"
"report that they do not date much"
"may haave high expectations for self"
"may need to compromise to meet professor's expectations"