I want so much to be an artsy person--someone who has deep discussions about passages from great books in front of a fireplace to people wearing sweater vests and chords, but I'm afraid that I just am not capable of such things. I want to be intellectual... maybe that's the problem--I want to be intellectual, so I'm not. It just sucks--I don't want to fit in with the general Wake Forest crowd, but I look the same--I have rainbows and a freaking north face backpack! I think much of my frustration comes from my recent grade in English. I like English so much, but I just suck at it. I have these good ideas, but I can't ever incorporate them properly into an argument. How can I be thinking about grading English papers if I can't even write them, myself? I don't know.
This year has been better in general so far... don't get me wrong. It's just that I have a lot of the same frustrations: I don't know what to major in or what I'm good at, I'm having the same issues with boys, and I'm not fostering my personal relationship with God nearly as much as I should. I feel like a big faker going to church every Sunday. I just don't know.
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About Me
- Rachel
- hi there. Let's cut to the chase, shall we? My name is Rachel, and this is my blog. If you are clever, you will find that I actually am the author of two different blogs. Please do leave a comment or twelve if you feel so inclined.
1 comment:
i don't know whether or not you like my comments, but i'm going to post anyway
do what you want because it's fun for you, not because someone else says you're good or not good at it. if you like English so much, major in it! screw what others think, screw the future, just do what you enjoy and the rest will follow.
the main thing is to just be true to yourself, not just in deciding a major but in all things. really listen to what your inner voice/spirit/God (i think of it as the same) is saying.
religious ambiguity aside, don't sweat life so much. just live in, and enjoy, the present. we only experience the present, not the past or the future at any point in time. so don't worry, i personally know that you're a great girl and that you'll be ok.
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